Opinions

A wise person once told me..."Other people's opinion of you is none of your business." I've added my own addendum to it..."God's opinion is the only one that counts."

That is something that we all have to come to grips with and until we do, we are walking in bondage. There is such a freedom that comes in not being a slave to other people's opinion. We all want to please the people we care about or love. Sometimes, we try to please people to make them love or care about us. It's pretty innate with in us to want the approval of others, but eventually we must learn that we can't rule our lives by it. It's really hit or miss, and if that's what we are going by, we will be on a roller coaster for the rest of our lives. Interesting thing about roller coasters is that they go 65 mph, up and down hills, through hoops, around twist and turns and in the end, you are back where you started from. Only now, you have a headache. That's exactly what happens when we try to live our lives pleasing other people.

This weekend I had a conversation with someone I love, someone I know loves me too. A few months back the person told me in so many words that I was a big disappointment to them. No one wants to be told that, it can be hurtful and sometimes cause bitterness or resentment. It's tempting to stay there. However, I decided to do two things.

The first thing I decided to do was take inventory. You know what I found; I'm not living a disappointing life. There are times when people speak curses in our lives, but we make the choice whether or not we receive them. Just because someone speaks it doesn't make it the truth. The infamous they has so many things to say, but that doesn't make it true. They talk about you, they talk about me, they talk about us, and they talk about them. They never stop talking; so we just have to stop listening. So let God be true and every man a liar. They may not be pleased, but what does God think? They may never forgive you, but God already has. You may not be doing that they want you to do, but are you doing what God called you to? Despite the opinions of others, a quick inventory revealed that while they found reason for disappointment, I found none. In fact, I'm pretty pleased because this branch is remaining in the Vine and is bearing much fruit.

I'd done inventory months ago, when the statement was first made, but I finally got around to doing the second thing...confrontation. Too many of us are holding on to past hurts and past offenses. Jesus told us that if we had a problem with someone to go to them and settle the score, then bring your offering. People are sick, stressed, and depressed because they won't settle the score. Carrying hurts, pains, unforgiveness, offenses, and whatever else does not make you a martyr. Telling everybody about everything that they did is probably not going to get you a book deal, or make you the screenwriter for the next major motion picture. But if you are looking for tumors, backaches, anxiety, clinical depression, heartburn, migraines, and/or a plethora of other sicknesses and diseases your anger, bitterness, and resentment over what they have done will definitely aid you.

At any rate, back to my story...confrontation. By confrontation I do not mean a shouting match or the blame game. This weekend, it was just a conversation and I brought up the whole disappointment thing. I told them that I had thought about what they had said and came to the conclusion that I wasn't living a disappointing life. Funny thing is that didn't stop them from being disappointed, but we both walked away with the understanding that their disappointment is not my burden to bear. Their opinion of me is none of my business.