I did like the shirt...and Let It Go!

In the process of transferring 2 years worth of blogs, I was afforded the opportunity to look over my state of mind and emotions during this time. As I survey the changes, there is one thing I feel more that anything else…GRATEFUL. My heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness because I’m not there anymore.

As I strolled down memory lane, I remembered how I felt. I recalled the nights of salty rainstorms pounding my cheeks and the set of luggage that had settled under my eyes by morning. The pain, loneliness, anger, and bitterness flashed through my mind’s eye like an old time picture show. It was kinda like watching a movie. I could see the pain, understand why it was there, and sympathize with that disappointed baby girl; yet, I couldn’t feel it any more. Even as I recalled what brought me to that place, I realized the situations that sent me on an emotional roller coaster no longer captivated my attention; much less my emotions and thoughts.

I actually let it go. I had written poems talking about how I should let it go. Then, there were the blogs about why I was going to let it go. I even bought a shirt that said “Let It Go” with a scripture on the back. But, when depression, my temper tantrums, and crying spells hit, I knew the thing that I longed to do still eluded me. I remember that. I remember thinking I finally got it; that river of anger is gone. Then, the storms of life happened and that river overflowed its banks once again.

I guess that is why I’m so happy and grateful. I’m no longer carrying those deadly emotions so I’m really walking in abundant life. I can finally love, and I really love to love. I tried loving before, but was so sure that it was the source of my pain. I loved God and I loved other people, but I had forgotten to love someone very important…myself. Now, I love me, and that makes it so much easier to love other people. I’m happy. I dance and sing all day. The joy of the Lord is my strength, and I’m strong in the Lord and the power of His might.

During the exodus, God told the children of Israel to gather stones of remembrance. He wanted them to remember where they had come from and how far he had brought them. The feast of booths was dedicated to remembering. Sometimes, we have to take time to look back and remember. So, make sure you are gathering stones along the way. Remember the victorious battles; they will give you strength to win the war.