Drama doesn't change...we do

So, I have learned a very valuable lesson. One I wished that I had learned years ago. I think that if I had, I would have saved a lot of tears. There wouldn't have been so many nights that I cried myself to sleep. I probably wouldn't have had so many angry talks with God. The truth is...drama doesn't change, we do.

Yesterday, a little drama went down. It's funny that I can call it little. Because the truth of the matter is this same thing happen a little over a month ago and I was so pissed off. I was crying and yelling and depressed. I was yelling at God asking Him what I was supposed to do and all the like drama. Big blowout. And honestly, I don't know why it was so big because it is the same drama that has been going on for 9 years. (Yes...I realize in this arena I've been a very very slow learner; however, it's not how long it takes, but that we actually learn it.) I'm really so excited that I learned the lesson.

The EXACT same thing happened, and at first I was a little upset. But, honestly, I think I just felt a little more disrespected than anything and the nonchalant response didn't help. So I call my girl and ask what should I do. Well, the funniest part is that I'm talking to her telling her what went down...she's still going off and I was just like...ok that's enough...I'm done and I got other work to do. That was it. That was the extent of my response...in an hour, after blowing a little steam...I was done.

In times past, I'm ready to call someone and go off, cry and go through the rigamaru of it all (ok I realize that rigamaru is probably not a word, but I liked the way it sounded). However, this time, my exit was quiet...just a simple text..."I'm done." No big tadu, no tears, no nothing, I actually didn't feel a thing...just a quiet end. And as I look back, there were some good points and some bad, I can't say whether or not it was all worth it...but it was a ride none the less.

People will be people and you cannot make them change. You can't make situations change. Sometimes I've wonder, if all those prayers I prayed fell on deaf ears because nothing changed. God didn't answer them the way I wanted him to (that seems to be a theme this week...praying for healing, but things pass away...I guess that is a healing in itself.). The drama did not change...I did. I finally found enough strength to let it go. It actually feels good to be free.