I don't even know who I am

So I've come to grips with the fact that right now I'm in discovery mode. I wouldn't say that I'm trying to find myself because that leaves the impression that I might be lost. However, to discover means to find out information that was not previously known. That is exactly where I am in my life.

I think so often people think you have it all together, and since that's what people think it becomes the standard that you try to live. But, people's perception of you cannot be your standard because if the expectation is unreasonable...you'll never measure up. In the same token, if the expectation is lacking...you'll never come up.

The truth is I don't even know who I am. (And neither do you.) For the first time, I'm really comfortable with that. I'm truly searching out who I am and what I actually like and don't like. What are my giftings? I'm not talking about some survey that someone passes around, but soul-searching and soul-discovery. Sometimes, I have spent so much time hoping that someone else saw something of value in me, that I never took the time to see my own worth. You spend so much time trying to live up to someone's standard for you, that you never get a chance to set your own standard.

I don't know who I am, but I'm pretty cool with that. The truth is it's actually biblical.

"Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is." 1 John 3:2

Truth is I find a lot of comfort in the fact that I'm still discovering myself when God already said that I don't even know what I shall be, but I'm glad in the end...I'll be like Him.