I prayed and God answered...

You know, I've prayed and fasted about a certain matter for a long time. Recently, I had to make a decision and as much as I thought God would change the situation and the other party involved...the truth is God once again had to deal with me.

I had to ask myself, do I really believe that God wants the best for me. I think that I have lived with the fear, that if I didn't get this one thing, that God wouldn't give me anything else. I'm thinking that God just may not give me anything better. Heaven only knows how angry that has made me feel. Not to mention what it made me believe about myself. I began to think that maybe, that was all I was worth. You know when the enemy has convinced you that this is what God thinks about you, than you end up thinking that about yourself. It has honestly been bondage. It's enough to make you go crazy...literally. Then you realize that God is not pleased. You realize, that God values you and there is somethings that He doesn't want for you.

I guess I prayed thinking that God was just going to change things overnight, but what happened is he finally allowed me to see the truth. I can't change people and I can't make them want to change. I can't make someone love me, but I can chose to love myself. I can't make someone respect me, but I can choose not to keep those who disrespect me in my life. I prayed and God answered, by giving me the strength to let go. With that strength, I also make a choice to love again, to forgive, and to walk in peace. I've got to rest knowing that God has the best for me and I don't have to settle for anything less.