Mark and the car

Sometimes God blesses you with wonderful people in your life. They aren't perfect, but you enjoy their presence most of the time. They have that knack for illuminating those parts of your personality that others don't often get a chance to see. I am a very peaceful person. When I deal with people, I try to use tact and discretion. However, around some people, that just goes out the window. That is Mark and me. I don't yell too much (you know, I'm trying that whole meek and quiet spirit thing out), but I can go off on Mark for a good 30 to 45 minutes. He's a wee bit obstinate, can be a tad argumentative, and happens to bring those character traits out in me. But, he is such a good guy.

Last week, I asked Mark to help me find a new car. That was like whoa. He was on my nerves. I told him what kinda of car I wanted, what year I wanted, and what price I wanted. Now if I tell you that I want a Toyota, Honda, or a Nissan that was manufactured in this millennium, why on God's green earth would you try to get me to buy a darn '95 Caviler, or a '98 Ford Taurus with 220,000 miles on it. If you think it's pretty, buy it yourself. He's test driving a '95 Grand Prix and I'm looking at the sales lady like what the heck is he doing, cuz I'm not buying that car. Hello!?!?!? We are shopping for me, and I don't want it.

Then he's calling me at 8 at night talking about "Man, Alicia, you gotta see this car." Dude, I live in Antioch, and when I leave my job in north Nashville, ya girl is not going back to Madison to look at some car 2 yrs older than I want. "See, Alicia, these cars are going to be gone. If you see something, you gotta get it right then. That's how it works. That car is going to be gone tomorrow." Heck, if the car is gone then clearly the car wasn't for me.

You know I've had a cell phone for years, and I have never ran out of message space. Especially when your messages can only be a certain length. That brotha had so many dog on messages on my phone, I just stopped checking my voicemail cuz he was on my nerves. Dude tried to hustle me more than the car dealer, "you should get this car" or "you aint gonna get no better than that car...this is it."

Now, I know I was on his nerves. He is headstrong, but I'm probably worst. Dude, I just want what I want, and you can't fault me for that. He's trying to rush me into getting a car, and I won't be rushed. Then he'll show me a car I don't want and won't take a simple no. In fact, the only thing he responsds to is a temper tantrum. So heck, I throw a temper tantrum. He's ready to drive Miss Daisy from one car lot to the next, and all I want to do is eat lunch in peace. One day, he tells me "well fine, Alicia, I'm just gonna let you find your own car." I said "fine," hung up the phone, and continued eating my salad. Five minutes later, Mark is on the phone telling me he's going to drive the car to me so I can see it. He was on my nerves (and heaven knows I was on his), but he was determined to take care of baby girl. I can't help but smile.

Truth is Mark has his moments but he's all in all a good guy. People did give me a better prices since I had a mechanic negotiating for me. He was able to look at the cars and see what was wrong and know how much it would cost to fix. That man hustled and went to more car lots than I would have ever wanted to...all that stuff gives me a headache. Well, truth is he took the brunt of it. All I had to do is say yes, no, ummmm, and turn down 5 of his marriage proposals...lol. Naaa...dude, I love Mark. He's wonderful. And he found me a new to me car, the kind I wanted, the year I wanted, and the price I wanted. He did try to hustle me though, and claimed that I played the player. Don't believe the hype...lol. I am pleased and I have no car payments....Hallelujah!!!

Thanks Mark!!!

Something about waiting

I was sitting in my first apartment wondering what direction my life was going to take. The months to follow my college graduation were not turning out the way I expected. I walked across the stage proud of the fact that I finished two degrees in four years and graduated magna cum laude. But sitting in that apartment, with $10 to my name, no job, and facing eviction, I couldn't help but question God's leading. I thought I'd heard him and that I was going in the right direction, but I'd looked for job after job to no avail. Now, I was fasting and praying looking for answers. A friend called. She said that she'd been praying for me, and while in prayer the Lord said to her, "Don't worry about Alicia. I'm taking care of her." At that moment, I couldn't see his hand. But, as you can imagine, He proved faithful and took care of me.

Years have now passed. I have a nice quaint life. It's peaceful, and I'm provided for. I have need of nothing, but there sure are some things that I want. This past week, I was walking the floor at work and a gentleman stop me. He said, "Alicia I was praying for you. I know you are getting your M. div and I think that's wonderful. But so many of our sisters go and get their M. Div and there's just nothing for them when they get out. I don't want to see that happen to you so I was praying for you. And you know what the Lord said? He said, 'Don't worry about Alicia. I'm taking care of her.'" When I heard it, I immediately remembered that they were the same words spoken to me years ago, but I guess I didn't know how much I needed to hear those words again.

This weekend sitting in church, the pastor was teaching on types of prayer that transform our lives and the world around us. He got on persevering prayer and it struck me. Then I heard the Holy Spirit say "who will stir himself up to take hold of God?" Honestly, I didn't know exactly how to take it. Okay, God if you want me to take hold of you, I will. It's my heart to serve Him. But, that's what I've been doing. I've prayed, cried, fasted, and waited, while years continue to pass as the promises go unfulfilled. Yet, God ask me to stir myself up to take hold of him. It's funny, as pastor was talking about persevering prayer he said it was like fastening yourself to someone. I think of a little kid grabbing hold of the leg of their father as he walks around dragging that child along for the ride.

I used to like getting a "word" or prophecy, but now the only confirmation I want is for God to do it. I guess I'm like that child in the backseat of the car asking, "Are we there yet?" My legs are cramped and the scenery on the highway does not seem to be changing much. In fact when I look around me it seems that not much has changed and I can't tell that I'm any closer to the promise than before. However, when I stop just looking at the circumstances and the common scenery and start looking at the mile markers, I see how far we've come. Ever notice on a road trip how mile 2 and mile 200 both look the same. However, at mile 200, you are almost there if you just hold tight. We need not worry, because Daddy really is taking care of us.

Gal 6:9: And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Ps 27:13-14: I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

On Love...

This is a quote that I just had to share. Enjoy.

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

- Captain Corelli's Mandolin