Just an observation

These days interracial dating is at a all time high. For me, it's neither here nor there. People do what they want and I'm not trippin off of it at all. I just must share this observation that I have found. Maybe someone can help me understand this. I have noticed when I got out with my girls in a laid back setting where we are mingling whenever there is a black guy with a white girl he feels compelled to come over and talk to us. I'm not really talking about hey how ya doing. No, he feels the need talk us, act goofy to make us laugh, and do some kinda song and dance.

I'm a pretty friendly and outgoing person and this would be okay if he didn't leave his white girlfriend/date on the other side of the room. Or, if she is close by he doesn't mention her or introduce her. I'm not sure about what anyone else thinks, but that is rude.

Once my ex did something like that. He's off talking to my friends not sure how to say something to me, and this girl is just standing there looking waaaaay out of place. Me being Alicia, I start talking to her. Ummm...she's there so how about we acknowledge her. I start swiftly walking down the street and he's walking fast trying to keep up with me. She is in heels several paces behind us trying to keep up. Say it with me guys..."That's rude."

Another time, Marla and I went to Coco Cafe. There is this black guy with a white girlfriend who felt compelled to come talk to us. So he's laughing and joking with us; telling us his life story. Once again, his girlfriend is just standing there. So, Marla and I start talking to her and include her in the conversation. We kinda felt bad for her cuz her man was cocky as all get out. Then, he looks at us kinda funny and says, "I'm really surprised you guys are talking to her, most black women don't." Well, let's think about this...if you stick her in a corner and you don't acknowledge her presence, I can understand why other people around won't acknowledge her presence. If you interact with her like there's something wrong, then that is what other people are going to do. Don't blame that mess on black women, when you are acting like she's not there.

Once again, tonight the same thing happened. A black guy with a white girl is all in our faces at karaoke. Now when he was sitting with her, she was hugging on him. However, he kept coming to our table trying to make conversation with us, while she was off in the cut. He got up to sing a song, "Joanna, I love you." And he dedicates the song to us, not to his girl. When we get up to leave, he's gives us hugs and has yet to mention or introduce the girl who's been hugging on him. (We did help her learn the Cupid Shuffle though.) But, as for his behavior...say it with me..."That's rude."

This is just an observation I'm making. When I see a black man with a black woman, I guarantee you he is not at our table striking up a conversation or doing a song and dance without that woman at his side. In fact, she's doing most of the talking. When I see a white man with a black woman, I don't see him flirting at a table full of white females. Help me to understand what's really going on. I personally think it's rude for you not to acknowledge the presence of the person you are with regardless of their race.

Opinions

A wise person once told me..."Other people's opinion of you is none of your business." I've added my own addendum to it..."God's opinion is the only one that counts."

That is something that we all have to come to grips with and until we do, we are walking in bondage. There is such a freedom that comes in not being a slave to other people's opinion. We all want to please the people we care about or love. Sometimes, we try to please people to make them love or care about us. It's pretty innate with in us to want the approval of others, but eventually we must learn that we can't rule our lives by it. It's really hit or miss, and if that's what we are going by, we will be on a roller coaster for the rest of our lives. Interesting thing about roller coasters is that they go 65 mph, up and down hills, through hoops, around twist and turns and in the end, you are back where you started from. Only now, you have a headache. That's exactly what happens when we try to live our lives pleasing other people.

This weekend I had a conversation with someone I love, someone I know loves me too. A few months back the person told me in so many words that I was a big disappointment to them. No one wants to be told that, it can be hurtful and sometimes cause bitterness or resentment. It's tempting to stay there. However, I decided to do two things.

The first thing I decided to do was take inventory. You know what I found; I'm not living a disappointing life. There are times when people speak curses in our lives, but we make the choice whether or not we receive them. Just because someone speaks it doesn't make it the truth. The infamous they has so many things to say, but that doesn't make it true. They talk about you, they talk about me, they talk about us, and they talk about them. They never stop talking; so we just have to stop listening. So let God be true and every man a liar. They may not be pleased, but what does God think? They may never forgive you, but God already has. You may not be doing that they want you to do, but are you doing what God called you to? Despite the opinions of others, a quick inventory revealed that while they found reason for disappointment, I found none. In fact, I'm pretty pleased because this branch is remaining in the Vine and is bearing much fruit.

I'd done inventory months ago, when the statement was first made, but I finally got around to doing the second thing...confrontation. Too many of us are holding on to past hurts and past offenses. Jesus told us that if we had a problem with someone to go to them and settle the score, then bring your offering. People are sick, stressed, and depressed because they won't settle the score. Carrying hurts, pains, unforgiveness, offenses, and whatever else does not make you a martyr. Telling everybody about everything that they did is probably not going to get you a book deal, or make you the screenwriter for the next major motion picture. But if you are looking for tumors, backaches, anxiety, clinical depression, heartburn, migraines, and/or a plethora of other sicknesses and diseases your anger, bitterness, and resentment over what they have done will definitely aid you.

At any rate, back to my story...confrontation. By confrontation I do not mean a shouting match or the blame game. This weekend, it was just a conversation and I brought up the whole disappointment thing. I told them that I had thought about what they had said and came to the conclusion that I wasn't living a disappointing life. Funny thing is that didn't stop them from being disappointed, but we both walked away with the understanding that their disappointment is not my burden to bear. Their opinion of me is none of my business.

Creative Juices Flowing

Okay so I wrote this as a comment on Art & Soul's blog, but decided to share...

Art & Soul Poetry Excercise 1: An Etheree
10 lines, with a syllable count going from 1 to 10 (or 10 to 1), decreasing (or increasing) each line.

Subject: Sex, Time & Water

Hmmm
Feels good
Time passing
Hope love's lasting
I envelop you
You keep holding me close
I never want to let go
So we seal "I do" with a kiss
I now forget what I thought I missed
Time wasn't wasted, love is worth the wait

Well, that is mine...so why don't you leave a comment with one that you did. This is fun, right? Participation is required.