My first...

trip to the shrink...yeah how wild is that. I guess there is this stigma that goes along with it. You really don't want to go. But I guess last weekend I decided that I was not going to let people and the decisions that they made drive your girl crazy. Not only that, I'm not going to bury my feelings and all that jazz. Life happens, and then you have to pick up the peices. So that's what I decided to do.

You know it was funny because I get there early and I had to wait for my counselor to get out of his other session. Well, when he was finished, he comes out with this guy who just looked like he needed to be there. Now, while I know it is not nice...I was sitting there thinking, Oh, Lord, why am I in this place. He looks crazy. I don't want to be in here with people like that."

Dude really did look like he had issues. I think I've done a pretty good job of keeping my stuff under wraps. I don't walk around with a victim complex. I'm not really looking for people's sympathy. But, let's be honest. My sh*t stink too(excuse the expression). Just because I don't walk around looking like a hot mess doesn't mean that there's not a hot mess that needs to be dealt with.

I guess it is what it is. You get to a place where you finally decide to deal with the stuff that needs to be dealt with. You look yourself in the mirror, and you even face the demons in your own closet. It kinda reminds me of that Rascal Flatts song I'm Moving On...

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived that I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on